Friday, November 30, 2012
Thankful - Days 29 & 30
November 29
I'm thankful that I live in a free country. I may not believe the same thing as you. I may not practice the same things as you. I may not speak the same as you. I may not look anything like you. I may not mother the same way you do. I may not be the same kind of wife you are. I may not have a job similar to your job. But none of that matters. In this country we're free to be who we want to be.
November 30
Today's the last day of November. I'm almost sad to stop writing what I'm thankful for. Some days it was challenging and other days it was hard to choose just one! So, there may be a few days that I just throw out some thankful thoughts...just because. :)
Today I'm thankful for scripture. God's Word is amazing. It teaches us, reminds us, encourages us, meets us, touches us, and allows us to glimpse a tiny part of who God is.
Below are some verses that I've been meditating on lately...all of them happen to revolve around being thankful. :)
Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Psalm 95:2
Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song.
Psalm 69:30
I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.
Isaiah 51:3
The LORD will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the LORD. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing.
Philippians 1:3
I thank my God every time I remember you.
Ephesians 5:4
Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
2 Thessalonians 1:3
We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing.
I'm thankful that I live in a free country. I may not believe the same thing as you. I may not practice the same things as you. I may not speak the same as you. I may not look anything like you. I may not mother the same way you do. I may not be the same kind of wife you are. I may not have a job similar to your job. But none of that matters. In this country we're free to be who we want to be.
November 30
Today's the last day of November. I'm almost sad to stop writing what I'm thankful for. Some days it was challenging and other days it was hard to choose just one! So, there may be a few days that I just throw out some thankful thoughts...just because. :)
Today I'm thankful for scripture. God's Word is amazing. It teaches us, reminds us, encourages us, meets us, touches us, and allows us to glimpse a tiny part of who God is.
Below are some verses that I've been meditating on lately...all of them happen to revolve around being thankful. :)
Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Psalm 95:2
Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song.
Psalm 69:30
I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving.
Isaiah 51:3
The LORD will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins; he will make her deserts like Eden, her wastelands like the garden of the LORD. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing.
Philippians 1:3
I thank my God every time I remember you.
Ephesians 5:4
Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
2 Thessalonians 1:3
We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing.
"Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble,
whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue
and if anything is praiseworthy - meditate on these things."
Philippians 4:8
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Randoms
Whoever knew that Brown Bear could be so much fun! If you've got kids, be sure to check out this video and share it with them. They're sure to love it! Her website is fun. I've gotten lots of ideas from her lately!
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Do I hear an "Amen!" out there?
Since I'm determined to start running again, I thought I'd post this to help inspire me. :)
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Do I hear an "Amen!" out there?
Lottery frustrations
Wednesday morning I went to a local, public, montessori school to check it out for pre-K for Xander next year. Yup, you read that right. Pre-K. For my little boy. The one who's still little. Oh, who am I kidding? He's growing up so fast, y'all!
Anyway, I went to an Open House at Chantilly Montessori School. And I loved it! There are so many things about this school that I like. There are a few things that didn't impress me, but overall I was more impressed than I wasn't. So that feels like a win to me.
The problem is, here in Mecklenburg County, you have to place your child's name in a lottery to be able to get them into certain schools. This is one of them.
You have to submit an enrollment form, birth certificate and proof of residence. I don't have Xander's birth certificate. We never ordered one, and now I need it. I know, I know. Go ahead and slap my hand. I should've had it so that I would have it when I needed it. Like now. Oh well. I ordered it today and I'm hoping that I get it no later than next Thursday. I have to turn all of this information into the school by next Friday. Sheesh. I sure like to cut things close!
And so now it's a waiting game. I really hope I'm able to get Xander into the lottery. And I really hope he gets chosen once he's in the lottery. And I really hope he loves the school once he's entered in the lottery, chosen and then starts next fall.
Oh the joys of parenthood. Pray with me. We're gonna need it. :)
So, Montessori. It's interesting. You should read about it. I think Xander would be incredibly successful in a Montessori setting. And Chantilly Montessori - they even have a butterfly on their website! I mean, how much more perfect can you get for Xander? :)
(This is the little boy who asked Santa for monster trucks and butterflies last year.)
I'm planning to go to another Open House at Highland Mill Montessori next Monday and see how cool they are.
Does anyone care to comment about Montessori? I'd be interested to hear your views and opinions. Thanks!
Anyway, I went to an Open House at Chantilly Montessori School. And I loved it! There are so many things about this school that I like. There are a few things that didn't impress me, but overall I was more impressed than I wasn't. So that feels like a win to me.
The problem is, here in Mecklenburg County, you have to place your child's name in a lottery to be able to get them into certain schools. This is one of them.
You have to submit an enrollment form, birth certificate and proof of residence. I don't have Xander's birth certificate. We never ordered one, and now I need it. I know, I know. Go ahead and slap my hand. I should've had it so that I would have it when I needed it. Like now. Oh well. I ordered it today and I'm hoping that I get it no later than next Thursday. I have to turn all of this information into the school by next Friday. Sheesh. I sure like to cut things close!
And so now it's a waiting game. I really hope I'm able to get Xander into the lottery. And I really hope he gets chosen once he's in the lottery. And I really hope he loves the school once he's entered in the lottery, chosen and then starts next fall.
Oh the joys of parenthood. Pray with me. We're gonna need it. :)
So, Montessori. It's interesting. You should read about it. I think Xander would be incredibly successful in a Montessori setting. And Chantilly Montessori - they even have a butterfly on their website! I mean, how much more perfect can you get for Xander? :)
(This is the little boy who asked Santa for monster trucks and butterflies last year.)
I'm planning to go to another Open House at Highland Mill Montessori next Monday and see how cool they are.
Does anyone care to comment about Montessori? I'd be interested to hear your views and opinions. Thanks!
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Meets Expectations
We have a new yearly review format at work called Performance Management Process. Basically there are certain goals you must complete and criteria you must meet to be rated...well, who could say it better than the people who created it? Here you go:
community.
For the most part, this is an excellent model. I firmly believe that you should have constant communication with your supervisor and conversations should be had to make sure that what you're doing is on track with the goals and initatives of your company. In our PMP, this is how you can be rated:
Consistently fails to meet expectations
And this is where the flaws come into play. We were basically told it's nearly impossible to get "Exceeds expectations." Their goal is for everyone to "meet expectations" and if you go so far above and beyond the norm then you 'might' get "Exceeds expectations."
I don't know about y'all but I am NOT a meets expectations kind of gal. I exceed expectations. I always exceed expectations. That's what I'm known for. That's what I do. So to have my PMP this year and get "Meets Expectations" nearly killed me!
Until I realized something. I was actually in the review with my supervisor when it hit me:
This is my earthly job. Will it last forever? No. Am I to do the best I can possibly do in this job? Yes. Does it matter how humans rate my performance? Basically, no. I only care what God thinks of what I've done. If I strive to do my best and that best gets recognized as "meets expectations" here on earth, then I'll take it. My rewards are in heaven.
Plus, I'm not able to focus a lot of attention on my job at the library. I only work 20 hours. The majority of my time and my "full-time job" is at home with my kids and my husband. That's where I truly want to focus my time and energy and where it's even more important to receive an "Exceeds Expectations" rating. And the only rating that truly matters is the rating given to me by God.
Charlotte Mecklenburg Library’s Performance Management Process (PMP)
is an annual process in which you and your manager work together to set
SMART goals, discuss competencies necessary for success in your position
and create an individual development plan. You should meet periodically,
once per quarter, to provide feedback, realign goals and recognize good
performance. It is a process that links individual goals and objectives to
organizational goals and objectives.
The Library’s Performance Management Process (PMP) ensures that all
library employee goals are aligned with library strategies and initiatives. In
this way, PMP enables every employee to understand his or her unique
contributions to help the Library remain customer focused, and fulfill its
mission, Expanding minds, Empowering individuals and Enriching our
community.
For the most part, this is an excellent model. I firmly believe that you should have constant communication with your supervisor and conversations should be had to make sure that what you're doing is on track with the goals and initatives of your company. In our PMP, this is how you can be rated:
Exceeds expectations
Meets expectations
Fails to meet expectations
Consistently fails to meet expectations
And this is where the flaws come into play. We were basically told it's nearly impossible to get "Exceeds expectations." Their goal is for everyone to "meet expectations" and if you go so far above and beyond the norm then you 'might' get "Exceeds expectations."
I don't know about y'all but I am NOT a meets expectations kind of gal. I exceed expectations. I always exceed expectations. That's what I'm known for. That's what I do. So to have my PMP this year and get "Meets Expectations" nearly killed me!
Until I realized something. I was actually in the review with my supervisor when it hit me:
This is my earthly job. Will it last forever? No. Am I to do the best I can possibly do in this job? Yes. Does it matter how humans rate my performance? Basically, no. I only care what God thinks of what I've done. If I strive to do my best and that best gets recognized as "meets expectations" here on earth, then I'll take it. My rewards are in heaven.
Plus, I'm not able to focus a lot of attention on my job at the library. I only work 20 hours. The majority of my time and my "full-time job" is at home with my kids and my husband. That's where I truly want to focus my time and energy and where it's even more important to receive an "Exceeds Expectations" rating. And the only rating that truly matters is the rating given to me by God.
The Invisible Mom- Building Cathedrals
A friend of mine posted this on facebook yesterday. Beautiful. May you continue to build your cathedrals.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.
Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’ Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I’m invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie t his? Can you open this? Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, ‘What time is it?’ I’m a satellite guide to answer, ‘What number is the Disney Channel?’ I’m a car to order, ‘Right around 5:30, please.’
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude – but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going, she’s going, she’s gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England .. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, ‘I brought you this.’ It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .
I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: ‘To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.’
In the days ahead I would read – no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals we have no record of their names.
These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.’ And the workman replied, ‘Because God sees.’
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make everyday, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.’
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far a s to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don’t want my child to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.’ That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, ‘You’re gonna love it there.’
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.
Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’ Obviously not; no one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I’m invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie t his? Can you open this? Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, ‘What time is it?’ I’m a satellite guide to answer, ‘What number is the Disney Channel?’ I’m a car to order, ‘Right around 5:30, please.’
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude – but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going, she’s going, she’s gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England .. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, ‘I brought you this.’ It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .
I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: ‘To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.’
In the days ahead I would read – no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals we have no record of their names.
These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.’ And the workman replied, ‘Because God sees.’
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make everyday, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.’
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far a s to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don’t want my child to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.’ That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, ‘You’re gonna love it there.’
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Thankful - Days 27 & 28
November 27
Mine and David's 8th anniversary is today. I feel it only fitting that I express my gratitude for him today. He is strong and steady. He is cautious and kind. He is funny and smart. He is patient and loving. He is silly and caring. He is better for me than I even knew possible when I walked down that aisle to join him 8 years ago. I don't know what I'd do without him and I'm thankful God gave him to me.
PLUS my 1pm meeting got canceled today, so we got to meet up for an unexpected anniversary lunch date. Then we get to have an at-home-date tonight. So thankful for my man. :)
November 28
I'm thankful for laundry. It reminds me that my family and I have clothes to put on our backs. I'm thankful for a dirty house. It reminds me that I have a home to shelter me. I'm thankful for dishes in the sink. They remind me that we had food to eat at our last meal. God is so good to remind us of these things. :)
And believe me, my house has lots of reminders. ;)
Mine and David's 8th anniversary is today. I feel it only fitting that I express my gratitude for him today. He is strong and steady. He is cautious and kind. He is funny and smart. He is patient and loving. He is silly and caring. He is better for me than I even knew possible when I walked down that aisle to join him 8 years ago. I don't know what I'd do without him and I'm thankful God gave him to me.
PLUS my 1pm meeting got canceled today, so we got to meet up for an unexpected anniversary lunch date. Then we get to have an at-home-date tonight. So thankful for my man. :)
November 28
I'm thankful for laundry. It reminds me that my family and I have clothes to put on our backs. I'm thankful for a dirty house. It reminds me that I have a home to shelter me. I'm thankful for dishes in the sink. They remind me that we had food to eat at our last meal. God is so good to remind us of these things. :)
And believe me, my house has lots of reminders. ;)
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Thankful - Days 25 & 26
November 25
This is the most important thing I have to be thankful for - Jesus. I'm thankful that in him I am a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17). That because of him, I can live life more abundantly (John 10:10). That through him, I have peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:7).
We put up our Christmas tree today and I was reminded of how awesome God is! Without Jesus...where would I be??
November 26
Today I'm thankful that God has allowed David's cousin, Ame, to have a beautiful baby boy named Emory. It's not our timing. He's very early - 9 weeks and 2 days. He weighs 3lbs, 1oz. Ame had an emergency c-section.
But God is in control. Although he will probably need surgery in the next couple of days, he is here, and he is precious. Please keep Emory and Ame in your prayers.
This is the most important thing I have to be thankful for - Jesus. I'm thankful that in him I am a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17). That because of him, I can live life more abundantly (John 10:10). That through him, I have peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:7).
We put up our Christmas tree today and I was reminded of how awesome God is! Without Jesus...where would I be??
November 26
Today I'm thankful that God has allowed David's cousin, Ame, to have a beautiful baby boy named Emory. It's not our timing. He's very early - 9 weeks and 2 days. He weighs 3lbs, 1oz. Ame had an emergency c-section.
But God is in control. Although he will probably need surgery in the next couple of days, he is here, and he is precious. Please keep Emory and Ame in your prayers.
Thankful - Days 23 & 24
November 23
Today I'm thankful for the "stuff" God has given me. I didn't do Black Friday shopping. I don't condemn anyone who did, but I'm pretty thankful for the "stuff" God has already given me. I don't need 90% of it probably.
November 24
Today I'm thankful for sleep. I haven't gotten enough of it lately, so I'm incredibly thankful when I do. I'm glad God made our bodies to rejuvenate every night. We wake up with energy and a renewed spirit to start a new day.
Today I'm thankful for the "stuff" God has given me. I didn't do Black Friday shopping. I don't condemn anyone who did, but I'm pretty thankful for the "stuff" God has already given me. I don't need 90% of it probably.
November 24
Today I'm thankful for sleep. I haven't gotten enough of it lately, so I'm incredibly thankful when I do. I'm glad God made our bodies to rejuvenate every night. We wake up with energy and a renewed spirit to start a new day.
Thankful - Day 22
November 22
Today is Thanksgiving! I have so many things to be thankful for, that it's hard to narrow it down to just one thing. But the thing I'm most thankful for is my family. My David. My Xander. My Amelia Jayne. I love those three people more than I ever thought it possible to love. Thanks to them for making me a wife, a mother, and a better person. I wouldn't be who I am without them.
Today is Thanksgiving! I have so many things to be thankful for, that it's hard to narrow it down to just one thing. But the thing I'm most thankful for is my family. My David. My Xander. My Amelia Jayne. I love those three people more than I ever thought it possible to love. Thanks to them for making me a wife, a mother, and a better person. I wouldn't be who I am without them.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Thankful - Day 21
November 21
Today I'm thankful for family. ALL of my family. My mom's family in Texas and Oklahoma that I don't get to see often, but love dearly; My aunts in Virginia that I was just blessed to see; my mother-in-law's family that adopted me into their hearts when I married David; my parents (all 6 of them); my siblings (spouses included!!); my nieces and nephews (all 8 of them); my own children; and most of all my husband. I love you all!
Today I'm thankful for family. ALL of my family. My mom's family in Texas and Oklahoma that I don't get to see often, but love dearly; My aunts in Virginia that I was just blessed to see; my mother-in-law's family that adopted me into their hearts when I married David; my parents (all 6 of them); my siblings (spouses included!!); my nieces and nephews (all 8 of them); my own children; and most of all my husband. I love you all!
She's walking!
At least a few steps anyway. Here's a video of her standing from the middle of the floor (she started doing this on her own that day - which was last Thursday, November 15) and taking a couple of steps. She was so tired! But she was a trooper and kept trying over and over and over. :)
Daredevil
I've got my eye on you, missy. :)
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
The Same Page - Intro & Chapter 1
Link up ^ and join the book club!
Grace for the Good Girl by Emily Freeman has rocked my world and moved my spirit. Or should I say the Spirit is moving inside me?
I might as well have highlighted the whole thing. I practically did.
Chapter One: Are you a good girl in hiding?
Ummm...yes!
I never knew there was so much about me that I was hiding. I always thought of myself as an open book. And maybe at one time I was more open than I am now. Along the way, with marriage and children, my book has quietly closed and I even found a neat little book cover so no one could catch a glimpse at the title.
I've always been a good girl - rule-follower, responsible, dependable. But I always kind of resented it. Until I could pull it out and remind people of how good I was and how unworthy they were. I remember early in my marriage telling my husband that I never "got" to sow my wild oats. Really?? That's what I want
I came to Christ when I was 16 and confessed that I was a sinner. But I ashamedly admit now that I didn't always see sin in my life. I actually had a hard time finding it sometimes. Oh, to be 16 and so naive.
Then I found it. With a vengeance. And I was ashamed and embarrassed and just could not admit defeat. I wasn't like "those" people. I was a good girl! That's when I constructed masks. I wanted everyone to see me as I always thought they had before. With little to no sin and with everything perfectly in its place.
Fast forward a bit to marriage and I realized even more how ugly my sin was and how much I hated the fact that someone else could see it so blatantly now, too. I didn't like that someone could see through my mask, so I constructed thicker ones.
Fast forward a little more to child(ren). Children make it so hard to have masks. They rip them off you in public for all to see! I had this vision of what my life should look like, how my children should act, how my husband should love me, and what other people perceived our life to be like. None of my reality measured up.
Some of my favorite quotes from the book:
"These masks became so natural to me that I didn't even know they were masks. I thought they were just part of my face. I moved through life hiding behind the good and lived out the mess in secret. I taught people around me that I had no needs and then was secretly angry with them for believing me."
"We have a God who sees and cares and notices. He will not come undone. He remains un-overwhelmable."
"Chances are, if you are a good girl like me, you can relate to the hiding. You may be hiding from something, hiding behind something, or simply hiding something. The concept of hiding isn't new. It started way back in the beginning, with an apple, a snake, a lie, and a fig leaf. The hiding has kept me silent in relationships when I could have spoken out. It has kept me paralyzed with fear and anxiety when I could have danced in freedom. And this prison of self-protection has kept me from receiving the boundless, unfathomable, gracious love of God."
"My idea of who I should be is at war with who I am. I want to be perfect in every situation. I just do. I want to know what to do. I want to know how to do it right. And I want to do it. All. By. My. Big. Self. Not only do I want to do everything perfectly, I want to look perfect while I do it. I want to act perfect and sing perfect and have perfect teeth. I want to parent perfectly, to wife perfectly, and to have a clean house. All the time."
"...my ideal image has everything to do with put together and nothing to do with falling apart."
"If my story were a planet, then your rejection of me would be my nuclear holocaust. This fear of rejection drives me hard, eating away at my courage. And so I am cautious in my love. I am timid in my faith. My life tells a small story. I long to be seen, but I feel safe when I'm invisible. So I stay a good girl. And I hide."
"I want to let go, rest, and believe, so that he can hold, refresh, and redeem. But what if I do and he doesn't?"
"As I gazed off into the foggy distance, hoping for a glimpse of the outline of his presence, I missed the One who stood beside me, casting his shadow over me as he showered me with his love."
My sometimes Truth
I look forward to work so I can get away from my house...that is, more often than not, dirty.
I let my son watch TV for hours some days.
My car has become a bottomless pit of school art projects, water bottles, and church bulletins.
The overhead lights in my bedroom have been out for a couple of months now and I haven't gotten around to changing them.
I have unexplained bouts of depression.
"Comparison is a constant companion."
"I don't quite measure up."
"I'm not the mom I thought I would be."
The hiding part? It goes along so well with the sermon my pastor, Chris, preached on 11.11.12. Check it out here. Tore me up...along with this book. Man, God is doing amazing things in me!
Philippians 1:6 (MSG)
There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.
The hiding part? It goes along so well with the sermon my pastor, Chris, preached on 11.11.12. Check it out here. Tore me up...along with this book. Man, God is doing amazing things in me!
Philippians 1:6 (MSG)
There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.
Thankful - Days 19 & 20
November 19
Today I'm thankful for my small group. It is an awesome group of folks that I have the privilege to hang out with almost every week. I love spending time with them, hearing their thoughts and ideas, praying with and for them, and just chatting! This is definitely the best couples small group I've ever had the privilege of being a part of.
November 20
I am incredibly thankful to have the opportunity to share books with children who might not have them or know about them if it weren't for the library and the partnerships we have. What a privilege it is for me to share the gift of reading! And better yet, I get to talk to parents about the importance of reading to their child from an early age. I love "partnering with parents" (a phrase I stole from Ridge Church) to ensure that their children have a more successful and fulfilling future. Partnering with parents is one of my favorite things to do - whether it's at work, at church or with my friends. This is one of my great passions!
Today I'm thankful for my small group. It is an awesome group of folks that I have the privilege to hang out with almost every week. I love spending time with them, hearing their thoughts and ideas, praying with and for them, and just chatting! This is definitely the best couples small group I've ever had the privilege of being a part of.
November 20
I am incredibly thankful to have the opportunity to share books with children who might not have them or know about them if it weren't for the library and the partnerships we have. What a privilege it is for me to share the gift of reading! And better yet, I get to talk to parents about the importance of reading to their child from an early age. I love "partnering with parents" (a phrase I stole from Ridge Church) to ensure that their children have a more successful and fulfilling future. Partnering with parents is one of my favorite things to do - whether it's at work, at church or with my friends. This is one of my great passions!
Disappointed
Okay, so I wrote about being honest, well here goes.
I've been finding myself very disappointed lately.
David has a deadline tomorrow. So that means he's been working a lot. A.whole.lot. Like, it's 12:45am and he's still at work - probably will be there for at least 2 more hours.
This weekend while we were in Hickory visiting my Dad and celebrating his 60th birthday, David setup shop in my dad's office and worked long hours. There were many days last week that I barely saw him. Basically, it sucks.
I don't know where to draw the line between being thankful that my husband has a job and being jealous of that job. Or being annoyed that it's constantly taking him away from me. And our kids. Then I realize that what I really want is for David to recognize my feelings.
I feel alone.
And unnoticed.
And unappreciated.
And insignificant.
He still helps me around the house and does things for me and the kids when he can, but he just doesn't have the time. I want him to come home and smother me with kisses and recognize that I did more than just keep the kids alive, I actually cleaned and cooked supper! (We all know that doesn't happen every day!) Even when I give little prompts, (i.e., "Did you notice how nice the bathroom looked when you got home? The ring around the toilet is gone!" - I mean, not even subtle!) I don't get any recognition.
And then it hits me. Who am I? Why do I feel that I deserve recognition or appreciation? Aren't I doing what God has asked me to do? Didn't I make the choice to stay home with my kids over working full-time? Realizing that this is sooo not about me, my attitude is changed. Instead of having the selfish attitude of me, me, me, and expecting David to fulfill my every need, I realize that I should turn to God and allow him to fulfill my needs. And I need to pray for David. What must he be feeling through all of this? (Not that he would express it, but that's a whole other story.)
So instead, Ephesians 3:14-21 is my response:
I've been finding myself very disappointed lately.
David has a deadline tomorrow. So that means he's been working a lot. A.whole.lot. Like, it's 12:45am and he's still at work - probably will be there for at least 2 more hours.
This weekend while we were in Hickory visiting my Dad and celebrating his 60th birthday, David setup shop in my dad's office and worked long hours. There were many days last week that I barely saw him. Basically, it sucks.
I don't know where to draw the line between being thankful that my husband has a job and being jealous of that job. Or being annoyed that it's constantly taking him away from me. And our kids. Then I realize that what I really want is for David to recognize my feelings.
I feel alone.
And unnoticed.
And unappreciated.
And insignificant.
He still helps me around the house and does things for me and the kids when he can, but he just doesn't have the time. I want him to come home and smother me with kisses and recognize that I did more than just keep the kids alive, I actually cleaned and cooked supper! (We all know that doesn't happen every day!) Even when I give little prompts, (i.e., "Did you notice how nice the bathroom looked when you got home? The ring around the toilet is gone!" - I mean, not even subtle!) I don't get any recognition.
And then it hits me. Who am I? Why do I feel that I deserve recognition or appreciation? Aren't I doing what God has asked me to do? Didn't I make the choice to stay home with my kids over working full-time? Realizing that this is sooo not about me, my attitude is changed. Instead of having the selfish attitude of me, me, me, and expecting David to fulfill my every need, I realize that I should turn to God and allow him to fulfill my needs. And I need to pray for David. What must he be feeling through all of this? (Not that he would express it, but that's a whole other story.)
So instead, Ephesians 3:14-21 is my response:
14-19 My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.
20-21 God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
Glory to God in the church!
Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus!
Glory down all the generations!
Glory through all millennia! Oh, yes!
Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus!
Glory down all the generations!
Glory through all millennia! Oh, yes!
Oh, yes.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Look Whoo's One!
Amelia Jayne's big party was the last Saturday of October. I'm finally getting around to uploading pictures! The battery in my camera was dead, so I had to get these pictures from my mom and it took awhile. :)
My mom and I had so much fun hosting this party together - coming up with a plan, sharing ideas, getting everything made and then pulling it all together. It was great! The weekend was jam-packed, but it was very fun.
Here are the pictures of Amelia Jayne's first birthday party. It was a hoot! :)
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| Smash cake |
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| Monthly pictures |
Oh, and since I missed out on her monthly stats - here they are:
Height: 29.75 in (61%)
Weight: 21 lb (62%)
Head Circumference: 17.24 in (17%)
As compared to Xander's at the same age:
Height: 29.5 in (42%)
Weight: 25 lb, 10 oz (86%)
Head Circumference: 19 in (93%)
Random thoughts and inspirations
I've definitely mentioned my friend Patrick before, but he wrote this post not long ago and it really resonated with me. I've been thinking a lot lately about living in the now and I've really been trying to live that out. I struggle a lot with living in the past or the future, or even just thinking about other things I could be doing in the now. And then Patrick posted Kyle's sermon. Thanks, Patrick. So I thought I'd share with y'all. Fantastic, right? I already have the words "Be present" as my background on my phone, just as a reminder to myself to always live in the moment and be present for whoever's around, be it my children, my husband or even the cashier that's standing in front of me. It's a reminder to put my phone down and really LIVE. So let's not be too busy. Let's live.
I started reading the book, Grace for the Good Girl. I'm going to try to be a part of this book club. It started last Thursday and I haven't had a chance to blog about my readings, but I'm going to work on it this week. I've finished the introduction and the first chapter, but it's taking me awhile to digest what I've read and figure out what I want to write. I absolutely love what I've read so far. There is so much truth to the words on those pages. At least for me anyway. I'm looking forward to sharing my thoughts with y'all. :)
David and I were talking recently about running. We both want to get more serious about it. A couple of years ago we ran a 10k, but we haven't done much since then. David did run the Rock & Read race a couple of weeks ago, but that was the beginning of my illness, so I didn't make it. We want to run on New Year's Eve for the Running of the Lights. I hope we do it. I feel like if I say it publicly that it will happen. I really want to make my health a priority in my life. Lately it's kind of been on the bottom tier.
I'm sure by now y'all have seen the gangnam style video. Just in case you haven't, here it is. Go ahead and laugh with me. I couldn't help myself. :)
And if that weren't enough to make you wet your pants, here's something else to make you smile.
Have a great week!
I started reading the book, Grace for the Good Girl. I'm going to try to be a part of this book club. It started last Thursday and I haven't had a chance to blog about my readings, but I'm going to work on it this week. I've finished the introduction and the first chapter, but it's taking me awhile to digest what I've read and figure out what I want to write. I absolutely love what I've read so far. There is so much truth to the words on those pages. At least for me anyway. I'm looking forward to sharing my thoughts with y'all. :)
David and I were talking recently about running. We both want to get more serious about it. A couple of years ago we ran a 10k, but we haven't done much since then. David did run the Rock & Read race a couple of weeks ago, but that was the beginning of my illness, so I didn't make it. We want to run on New Year's Eve for the Running of the Lights. I hope we do it. I feel like if I say it publicly that it will happen. I really want to make my health a priority in my life. Lately it's kind of been on the bottom tier.
I'm sure by now y'all have seen the gangnam style video. Just in case you haven't, here it is. Go ahead and laugh with me. I couldn't help myself. :)
And if that weren't enough to make you wet your pants, here's something else to make you smile.
Have a great week!
Thankful - Days 17 & 18
November 17
Today I'm thankful for two of my favorite people - my Aunt Karen and Aunt Cheryl. I'm so thankful they're a part of my life! I absolutely love seeing them and enjoy their company immensely. I got to hang with them today and I get to spend time with them tomorrow, too. :) Every time we're together I feel refreshed and renewed, just being in their presence. Love you, monsters!
aka miagas
aka KTG
aka Shelly Shekyl
SEVEN!
"I can't see!"
Oh, sorry. I confused myself.
Crunchy little cornballs
November 18
Today I'm thankful that our church will soon be moving into a new building! We've been raising money and renovating a building for awhile now, but I'm happy to say that the next service we have will be in the new building! Praise God!
Today I'm thankful for two of my favorite people - my Aunt Karen and Aunt Cheryl. I'm so thankful they're a part of my life! I absolutely love seeing them and enjoy their company immensely. I got to hang with them today and I get to spend time with them tomorrow, too. :) Every time we're together I feel refreshed and renewed, just being in their presence. Love you, monsters!
aka miagas
aka KTG
aka Shelly Shekyl
SEVEN!
"I can't see!"
Oh, sorry. I confused myself.
Crunchy little cornballs
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| If she bent over just a little further, you could see her hotel. :) KTG, be sure to share that with Keith. |
November 18
Today I'm thankful that our church will soon be moving into a new building! We've been raising money and renovating a building for awhile now, but I'm happy to say that the next service we have will be in the new building! Praise God!
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Thankful - Days 15 & 16
November 15
Today I'm thankful for my job. Not only do I have the best supervisor ever, but I flat out enjoy what I do!! How many people can say they go to work and play with kids (for about 45 minutes at a time - not at all overwhelming) and come up with fun things to do with children? Sure there are some not-so-glamorous parts to my job, but I choose to focus on the positive. :) And one of those positive things is insurance. Ha! :) Oh, and the fact that I only work 20 hours a week. I love my job!
November 16
I am thankful for times together with my family. David's been working a lot lately and he had to work late again tonight. However, I packed the kids up and picked him up at work to take him to dinner. We had a great night out at Jason's Deli in uptown Charlotte. We walked through the city, saw a storm trooper on our way back to the car, and enjoyed being together, even for a short time.
Today I'm thankful for my job. Not only do I have the best supervisor ever, but I flat out enjoy what I do!! How many people can say they go to work and play with kids (for about 45 minutes at a time - not at all overwhelming) and come up with fun things to do with children? Sure there are some not-so-glamorous parts to my job, but I choose to focus on the positive. :) And one of those positive things is insurance. Ha! :) Oh, and the fact that I only work 20 hours a week. I love my job!
November 16
I am thankful for times together with my family. David's been working a lot lately and he had to work late again tonight. However, I packed the kids up and picked him up at work to take him to dinner. We had a great night out at Jason's Deli in uptown Charlotte. We walked through the city, saw a storm trooper on our way back to the car, and enjoyed being together, even for a short time.
Thankful - Days 13 & 14
November 13
Today is my Dad's 60th birthday.
Today, I express my thanks for him. He's a wonderful man and someone I'm proud to call my dad. Happy birthday, Dad!
November 14
I got to meet up with my mom, sister and mother-in-law today for the Southern Christmas Show in Charlotte. It's rare that I get to spend time alone (without children) with these wonderful women. It makes me realize just how thankful I am for these special times.
Today is my Dad's 60th birthday.
Today, I express my thanks for him. He's a wonderful man and someone I'm proud to call my dad. Happy birthday, Dad!
November 14
I got to meet up with my mom, sister and mother-in-law today for the Southern Christmas Show in Charlotte. It's rare that I get to spend time alone (without children) with these wonderful women. It makes me realize just how thankful I am for these special times.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Weaning
Oh, Ree. Somehow you always have a way of saying what I'm feeling. Sort of. :)
At least she makes me laugh out loud. I appreciate that. :)
At least she makes me laugh out loud. I appreciate that. :)
The Child Whisperer
I have no idea if this is a good book, but I found this on pinterest, and thought to myself: man, this looks great! It sure seems to hit home with my 3-year old and his personality, so I hope it's helpful to you, too. I may just see if the library has this book. :)
Thankful - Days 11 & 12
November 11
Today is Veteran's Day and I'm thankful for all the soldiers out there who fight for and defend our country.
November 12
I'm thankful that I'm feeling better today. I'm thankful for my health (even though I woke up yesterday morning with a cold - can you believe it??) and the fact that I can see Jehovah Rapha firsthand. :)
Today is Veteran's Day and I'm thankful for all the soldiers out there who fight for and defend our country.
November 12
I'm thankful that I'm feeling better today. I'm thankful for my health (even though I woke up yesterday morning with a cold - can you believe it??) and the fact that I can see Jehovah Rapha firsthand. :)
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Thankful - Days 9 & 10
November 9
I am so very thankful for my sister-in-law, Becky. She is so much fun - so full of life and excitement :). She's great with my kids which is evident in their love for her. They absolutely adore her! She was my friend long before she was my sister-in-law and I'm so glad that our relationship continues to grow!
November 10
I'm thankful to my mother-in-law for getting us tickets to the Broadway Lights series each year. Today was our first musical of the season - we had such a great time! Thanks, Ame!
I am so very thankful for my sister-in-law, Becky. She is so much fun - so full of life and excitement :). She's great with my kids which is evident in their love for her. They absolutely adore her! She was my friend long before she was my sister-in-law and I'm so glad that our relationship continues to grow!
November 10
I'm thankful to my mother-in-law for getting us tickets to the Broadway Lights series each year. Today was our first musical of the season - we had such a great time! Thanks, Ame!
Fall Happenings
*Warning: Picture Overload
The last weekend in October we enjoyed celebrating Amelia Jayne - complete with a smash cake, cupcakes, homemade decorations (ribbon topiaries, picture board, and pendant banner) and her one year video, made with love by her Daddy. We went to my nephew, Patrick's soccer game (where he scored 3 goals!), came back to my mom's and played outside in the beautiful weather and then headed to the Fall Festival at my family's church (the one David and I grew up in) in Mocksville. The fall festival was complete with a hayride, games, slides, bouncy houses, cake walks, climbing walls, etc. Sunday we went over to my sister's house for a chicken stew complete with: you guessed it, chicken stew!! And friends and family and s'mores and a bonfire and corn hole and ladder ball and rhubarb pie and Washington apple cake and spinach dip and slides and swings and conversations and leaf-catching and cousins playing and super-fun times. Whew! What a weekend!
Playing at Mimi's
Fall Festival
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| Gap Dude |
Chicken Stew at Erin's
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| Nathan warming up by the fire pit. |
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| Playing a game of "Catch the falling leaves" I'm pretty sure Kaitlyn and Patrick made it up, and it kept the kids entertained for over an hour! Don't let Kaitlyn and Patrick's bare feet and summer clothing fool you - it was cold! |
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