July funnies from the littlest Littles

Oh, my kids. They make me laugh every single day. And sometimes they bring tears (of joy and love, and many other emotions, honestly) to my eyes. Here are some of my favorites from this month:
 

Daddy: I missed you while I was at work today.

X: I'd say that, too, if I were you.
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AJ: Is I handsome?

Me: You are beautiful!

AJ: I know!

__________________________________________
 

AJ (talking to granddaddy who doesn't hear particularly well, especially from a high-pitch little girl): I wet.

Gd: Yes, you're red. Your shirt is red.

AJ: no, I wet! You listening to my words? Listen: I wet!
___________________________________________

X: I love you. You're my best mommy.

Me: Aw, bud. Thanks! You're my best son.

X: You're my great, great, great mommy!

Me: You're my great boy.

X: Did you mean great, great, great boy?

Me: Yes. Yes I did.

___________________________________________
 

After AJ did a puzzle -

X: Well, good job! Look at you! How'd you get so smart?

___________________________________________
 

AJ: I love you, Mommy. We need a family hug. 

(We hug.) 

AJ: That's enough.

__________________________________________
 

AJ: Jesus loved those people in that story you read tonight.

Me: Adam and Eve?

AJ: Yeah, Adam and Eva. They was in the spell book.

Me: The Bible?

(We might be watching just a little too much Sophia...)

Funnies from the littlest Littles

A weekday while David was at work:
Me: I miss daddy. I'm ready for him to come home and see us.
X: I miss daddy, too. (sighing) I forget what he looks like.

X and I were having a conversation about Papa being sick:
X: I've been sick, too.
Me: You have?
X: Yeah, the other day I couldn't talk.
Me: Really?
X: Yeah…because my mouth was closed and I just couldn't talk!

We were driving in the car…
AJ: It stinks in here because there's a skunk.
Me: Oh, shooey.
AJ: Don't say shooey.
Me: But don't you think skunks stink?
AJ: (puzzled) They do?
(Nodding with an understanding look) Because they have poop in them.
Me: Well…I guess that's true, but it's mainly because they have a stinky smell they spray out. It's like a perfume but it's really stinky.
AJ: And they have poop.
(I can tell that explanation went over well.)

AJ: She told me "yes."
X: Are you talking about Ms. Erin?
AJ: No, I'm talking about Ms. Mommy.

Funnies from the Littlest Littles

Me: Ooh, that's a pretty color. What color is it?
X: Orange
Me: It says "outrageous orange"
X: Yeah, 'rageous orange.

AJ: (very concerned) You have boo boo on you chin?
Me: I do.
AJ: I sorry, Mommy.
Me: It's okay. It doesn't hurt.
AJ: I sorry I hit you an hurt you chin.
Me: You didn't do that!
AJ: Xenon do it?
Me: No, mommy did it by accident.
AJ (very inquisitively, eyebrows furled): Your mommy?

We were in the car taking turns telling stories. Xander told his and AJ said in a most incredulous voice, "That amaaazing."

X: There's a plunch of balls in there.
Me: You mean a bunch?
X: No, there's a lot of balls. That's called a plunch of balls.

Me: Did you know Daddy and I went to kindergarten together?
X (skeptically): You did? Who was your teacher?
Me: His name was Mr. Seabrook.
X: Is he dead or something?
Me: No! I sure hope not!
X: Well, when's he gonna die?
??? I was dumbfounded with this one! Ha!

X: I don't want to watch Netflix. I'd rather watch huloop.
Me: Hulu?
X: Nah, huloop.
Me: Mm...okay.

Funnies from the Littlest Littles - Part 3

Xander: What's that?
Me: That's called cursive writing.
X: But, what is it?
Me: It's just a fancy way of writing.
X: Is it French or something?

(I was getting dressed one morning when Amelia Jayne came in before I had my shirt on.)
AJ: Your bottom!
Me: What? Is there something on my bottom?
AJ: (points to my chest) That's your bottom! That's funny!
Me: (baffled at first, then I looked down) Hmmm...that's called cleavage, sweetie.

Amelia Jayne: Look, Mimi! Eye patch!
(Grabs Mimi's bra from the bedpost and proceeds to put it on her head...as an eye patch. Or head patch as it turned out to be. Ha!)

X: Amelia Jayne didn't eat her gummies today.
Me: Yes, because she got them taken away. She hit and kicked at school today.
X: Well, I didn't hit or kick. I just concentrated on my work and ate lunch and all that.

The next day...
X: Did Amelia Jayne hit or kick today?
Me: No, she did great!
X: Oh good. I continued to concentrate on my work today.

Funnies from the littlest Littles - part 2

X: I love that song, "Love is an Open Door."
Me: You do?
X: Yeah, you know why I like it?
Me: Why?
X: They sing the song so beautifully.


X: Amelia Jayne, did you know that I beat all the levels on Jake?
AJ: Oh! You such a big boy!
X: Yeah, when you complete them all you get an official Never Land Pirate certificate! And I got it!


Amelia Jayne spied a picture of Xander as a toddler.
AJ: Ooh look! A pictoo of me!
Me: That's not you. Do you know who that is?
AJ: A boy play balls.
Me: Who is that boy?
AJ: I dunno!
Me: That's Xander-boo.
AJ: Oooh, Xana-boo! He's so cute!


Kids were in the other room playing and I heard them squabbling.
Me: What's going on guys?
X: She said I was rude and I was not rude. And I need to compromise her. Amelia Jayne, I would not like you to say that anymore!


Amelia Jayne was being very loud while Xander was trying to tell me something.
X: I can't talk with all that noise going through my ears!!


I gave Xander a tissue in the car.
X: What's all that stuff floating in the air?
Me: Oh, you mean the dust from the tissue?
X: Yeah. What are all these dust barnacles?


Xander at church with a new teacher who didn't know I was his mom.
X: Yeah, that's Emily. Usually I call her mommy.

Funnies from the littlest Littles - part 1

X: My pumpkin is sooooo heavy! But it's okay because I have my big man muscles on.

I've been telling Amelia Jayne the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears recently. I don't read a book, but just tell the story. When I get to Baby Bear's part, I usually say (in a high-pitched voice)
"Someone's been sitting in my chair. And they broke it to pieces. Boo hoo hoo!"
Yesterday Amelia Jayne brought a crayon to me that she had found in their coloring box. And this is what she said to me:
"My crayon broken to pieces! Boo hoo hoo."
Oh my goodness how cute she is!!

AJ: Knock, knock.
Me to David: Did she just say knock, knock? Like, she's telling us a joke?
David to me: I think she did.
AJ again: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
AJ: I don't know!

X: Mommy, I can't get upstairs to you! The garlic is in the way!!
(He was calling garland, garlic. Sometimes you hate to correct them when they're so darned cute!!)

Funnies from the little man - Part 7 + a bonus from baby girl

You can read the most recent funnies here.

(After I cut a windshield and doors into a cardboard box to make a car for him)
X: Mommy, let's play in my box car.
(Technically he's right, but it just struck me as funny.)

One day Xander and I were having a conversation about family members. He said this about my Aunt Karen:
X: I just call her KTG because she's so special.
(KTG stands for Karen the Great...because she is)

(After the floor had been mopped and I had asked him to stay off the floor)
X: Mommy! How can I get to my car? The floor got clean and now I can never get to it again!

(Talking to Grandma on the phone after we went to the pumpkin patch.)
X: My pumpkin is soooo heavy!
Grandma: It is?
X: Yeah, but it's okay because I've got my big man muscles on.

Me: Did you show Mimi and Papa a toy?
X: Yes. I showed them my potato head and it was the best time of their life.

X: Why aren't you snoring?
Me: Why? Do I snore when I lay with you sometimes?
X: Yeah.
(Me laughing.)
X: Nah, I'm just kidding.
(I know he's not!)

(Xander on the phone with Amelia Jayne while she was spending the night with Mimi)
X: Hi baby girl! It's me, Xander! I love you. Oh, you're so sweet. You can't see me because I'm on the phone, but I'll see you tomorrow.

And here's a bonus from the little girl:
(Said to David as he walked in the door from work)
AJ: Hi, my daddy! Hi, baby daddy!
(I'm assuming she said this because she calls herself baby. Funny, nonetheless.)

Here's more cuteness from the baby girl.

Kids say the darndest things...

Amelia Jayne says some of the cutest things. She loves to talk, but doesn't always enunciate her words (like Xander always did :)). My all-time favorite thing that she says right now is Xander's name. She either calls him "Xenown" or "Xandu" - both of which bring a smile to my face.

Me: Amelia Jayne, what happened to your face? Did you bump?

AJ: No.

Me: Did you fall down?

AJ: No.

Me: Did something hit you?

AJ: Yes. Xenown.

Remember, nonny is Amelia Jayne's blanket.
AJ: Nonny!
Me: You want nonny?
AJ: Yes.
Me: Where is it? Go find it.
AJ: I want Xenown get it.
She's already trying to get that boy to be her servant.

X: Baby girl, can I have that or not?
AJ: Not.

X: Mommy! Amelia Jayne just hit me! She came over and just hit me on my back!
Me: Amelia Jayne, we do not hit. Tell Xander you're sorry.
AJ: Sawwy.
A few minutes later.
X: I still love you, baby girl. I'm not mad at you, but we don't hit.

Can I just stop right here and tell you how precious it is to me that Xander calls Amelia Jayne "Baby girl?" Oh my goodness. It is the sweetest thing. He usually only calls her Amelia Jayne when he's mad at her. :)
We kind of all call her baby girl, which is where Xander picked it up. And she refers to herself as "baby." I mean, it doesn't help that we gave her the longest name ever and it will certainly be awhile before she can clearly say her own name, but oh my. I'm always reminded of Dirty Dancing when she calls herself baby.
"Nobody puts baby in the corner."

Funnies from the little man - Part 6

Some of these aren't so funny, but just plain sweet. I hope to remember so much of what my little man says. He sure knows how to make his Mama smile!!

After meeting some friends at Reedy Creek Nature Preserve and the park, then meeting Daddy for lunch and frozen yogurt -
X: Mommy, thank you for taking me to have such a fun day!


X: He has a really short name. I think he nicked his name.


Some background:
When my sister and I were little, my mom used to do something with us before bed; we called it the "Night-Nights." It originated with my sister using all her best stall tactics and saying just one more thing to our mom each night before bed. My mom put them all together and created the "Night-Nights." We did them every night for years before going to bed. It's one of my favorite memories and I'm thrilled to pass it down to my kids. I started them with Xander about a year ago and he started requesting them and doing them more and more until now we do them every night, too.

It goes like this:
{kiss}
Night-night.
{kiss}
Sleep tight.
{kiss}
See you in the morning light.
{kiss}
Sweet dreams.
{kiss}
I love you.
{kiss}
Bye, bye.
{kiss}
Don't let the bed bugs bite!
{fast kisses}

But the funniest thing is that he says don't let the BIG bugs bite you!! And one night he said, "We don't have any big bugs do we?" I laughed and told him, "I sure hope not. Now go to bed." :)



We've had lots of talks about marriage lately.
Me: Xander, we've talked about this. You can't marry someone in your family.
Xander: But why not? I like the girls in my family and I don't want to marry someone I don't know!
Me: When the right girl comes along, you'll be very happy to marry her.
Xander: But Aunt B's not married. Can I marry her when I grow up?
Me: No, bud. She's in your family.
Xander: Okay, then when I get older I'm going to marry Amelia Jayne.
Me: ::sigh::



Xander: Why did God make me a boy?
Pretty cool that he's already having such deep thoughts.



After I repeated something Xander said - 
X: Did you just say the same thing I said?
Me: I did.
X: But Mommy, you can't say the same thing I said.
He starts singing-
I like you, I like you, I like you just the way you are.
You have to be different!



X: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!
(Whispers) That's how you count all the numbers...in order!
AJ: (Smiles)
X: Interesting, huh?!?!



In the car:
X: Mommy, can we listen to music?
Me: Sure, what song would you like?
X: The one I like.
Me: Okay, which one is that?
X: You know, the one I like.
Me: You like lots of songs.
X: The one by Shurr Purr.
Me: Sir Purr?
X: No, Shurper.
Me: I don't think I know that one.
X: You know, the one that goes, "Husha, Husha."
Me: Oh! You mean Usher!!
Hahahahaha!!

Funnies from the Little man - Part 5

And....they're back :). Check out some of Xander's other funnies here...here...here...here...and here.


Me: Xander, it's time for bed. Close your eyes and go to sleep.
X: I have a really hard time closing my eyes. I'm not very good at that.
Me: Sure you are. Just close your eyes. Watch me.
X: (sigh) No, I'm just really not very good at that.


X: Do you like the way my face is made?


Daddy: You're so tired, Xander.
X: I am not so tired! I'm exhausted!
Me: Do you know what exhausted means, Xander?
X: What?
Daddy & I together: So tired!!


X: Do my teeth look white?
Me: Weellll...we need to brush them.
X: (after a moment of thought) Are they rotten?


X:I have an issue with my throat.
Me. What's the issue?
X: It has a bloob in it.
Me: What's a bloob?
X: A blood infection that makes me not feel very good.


X: Make sure not to lay on my pillow cuz it'll make your hair be crazy.


Me to Xander: Why do you have such a cute little nose?
X: Because God made me. And that's the way He made me...with a cute nose.


X: I want to be a chef when I grow up.
Daddy: Cool! I like to cook.
X: Yeah, me too.
Daddy: Can I cook with you sometime?
Mommy (with a mischievous grin): Hey Xander, tell Daddy he can be your sous chef.
Xander: Daddy, you can be my shoe chef.

Funnies from the little man - Part 2.5

Guess what?!?! I found some lost funnies on my phone. Apparently I had been keeping a record of Xander's sayings and then started a new one without realizing I never posted the old one! These sayings are dated May 2012. I can't believe that was 8 months ago!
They made me smile. I hope they do the same for you. :)

Xander: That poopy looks like a hotdog!!

Xander: That school bus had flashing lights!
Me: (long explanation about school buses, their lights, and what they mean)
Xander: Uhhh...sure!

Xander: Diapers don't have tags. They have Elmos and Grovers and Ernies and Berts.
(just look at a pack of pampers if you're confused:))

On the phone with Daddy who was working late.
Daddy: Okay, Xander. Have a good night.
Xander: Goodnight, daddy! Be good for the office!

Me: Xander, do you have anything to pray for?
Xander: But, yeah!
(After we prayed...)
Xander: I prayed for God!
Me:Yeah buddy, you prayed to God.
Xander: I prayed three God.

Funnies from the little man - Part 4

X: I can't touch my spine right now since my body's in my booster seat.

X: Can you hop on one foot?
Mimi: No. Can you?
X: No, but when I learn to be a man I can.

X: On my next birthday I'm going to be 4 (holds up 4 fingers) and then I'll be 5 and then 6 (continues to add fingers while counting) and then 7 and then 8 and then 9 and then 10!
(Pauses)
I don't think I'm going to be 11.
Mimi: Why not?
X: I don't have any more fingers.

X: (Holds hand out) Here, Mimi.
Mimi: What is it?
X: A bogey.
Mimi: I don't want that! Let me get you a tissue.
(Brings Xander a tissue)
Here, Xander. Put the bogey in this.
X: Oh, that's okay. I just put it in my pocket.

One evening we were driving home from Mocksville when, out of the blue, Xander screamed out. We asked him what was wrong and he never told us. Then we started watching him. He was trying to watch Curious George, but he was so tired that his eyelids just couldn't stay up. At one point his eyes competely closed and he started crying and wailed, "I CAN'T SEE!!!!"
As we attempted to hold back the laughter, David told him, "Well, open your eyes!"

If you like these, check out some other funnies here, here, and here.

Funnies from the Little man - Part 3

More funny sayings from my Xander-man, like this and this.

Xander: (Riding in his toy car) I'm driving now. See you later!
Me: Where are you going?
Xander: I'm driving to the recycle center to get some oil.

??Where does he get this stuff??

Xander: I would like some bears. (He means teddy grahams.)
Me: I don't want to ruin your supper, let's wait.
Xander: Let's go ahead and ruin our supper.

Xander: Guys, I can't get in my dresser. Daddy, can you help me? You're the architect.
Not exactly sure why it takes an architect to open a drawer, but Xander believes his daddy can do anything. :)

The next morning.
Xander: Mommy, can you fix Raoul CaRoule (one of his toy cars) for me?
Me: Oh Xander, I don't think we can fix that one. He's pretty broken.
Xander: Okay, I'll ask Daddy when he gets home. He's an architect.
Apparently architects are all-powerful. Or maybe just daddies.

Amelia Jayne had one of Xander's toys in his mouth.
Xander: No, Amelia Jayne!!! Don't chews on it!!

Funnies from the little man - Part 2

Remember this post from last year? Lately, I have been typing some of Xander's funniest sayings/comments/sentences into my phone. I love looking back at them!! Sometimes I have no idea where he comes up with these things. Sometimes I know all too well...

Here are a few:

Me: Xander, let's put your shirt on.

Xander: I can't! I only have two hands!

Xander (Talking about one of his cars): This one is little, in fact.

Xander (As Daddy was bringing AJ downstairs): There's Amelia Jayne! There's that cutie pie.

Me (as we were leaving my mom's house): Tell Mimi thank you.

Xander: No, I can't. I'm crying right now.

Xander, crying because he doesn't want to go to bed.

David: Xander, it's time for bed now.

Xander (in a pitiful little voice): Wait. I need a tissue to wipe my tears.

Xander (out of the blue): I love you very much, Mommy. Did you know that?

Someone posted this on facebook and I thought it was pretty cute. :)

Funnies from the little man

Me: "Xander, where does mommy work?"
Xander: "At the yabbity." (yabbity means library)
Me: "Where does daddy work?"
Xander: "In his car."

I never thought about it, but we rarely go to David's office, yet every morning we talk about Daddy going to work and Xander always mentions his car and oftentimes we watch him drive away. It only makes sense that Daddy works in his car. :)


Xander loves basketball. As in, he's obsessed. He will make anything into a basketball and use anything as the ball. He always talks about "putting it in the hole." The other day he had a little ball and his stacking boxes. Each of the boxes has a letter on it. David and I were sitting on the floor with him when he said, "Put it in the A-hole!" I didn't think I would stop laughing over that one.


He's so used to electronics and toys that make sounds and move on their own, that he doesn't really understand "old-fashioned" toys that don't do those things. This morning he called me in the living room and said, "Mommy, fish stick!" (which is what it sounds like when he says, "Mommy, fix it!"). He was playing with some tractors that he got from Mimi and Papa. They don't move without you making them and they make no noise. I told him that it's fixed and that these toys don't make noise. He said very matter-of-factly, "Needs batteries."


Xander has quite the memory. I tend to talk to him (probably incessantly) when we're together, especially at the store or when running errands. We went to the grocery store together a couple of weeks ago and I was trying to remember that David had asked me specifically to get some sausages to grill out and some grapes for his lunch. I kept telling Xander, "Don't let mommy forget. We need to get grapes and sausages for daddy." Yesterday we were at Costco together and out of the blue Xander told me, "Get sausages for daddy." I started laughing and told him, "Thanks for reminding me, buddy." :)