Friday, January 12, 2018

Crazy Christmas 2017

Maybe we are crazy. Maybe we honestly did lose our minds.

But we did it.

We piled into a 15-passenger van and headed to Texas.

But first, let me back up.

Christmas started, as it seemingly always does, as soon as Thanksgiving is complete...maybe even before. For my Little family of four, we stayed home on Thanksgiving Day, just the four of us, and put out all of our Christmas decorations with Christmas movies on in the background, and enjoyed a Mexican feast. The next day we went to my aunt Karen and aunt Cheryl's house. And I am incredibly grateful that we did. I kept thinking that all of us would be there to visit and spend time with my aunt who was ill, and that I would go back alone in January to have another visit, similar to the one my sister and I were able to have at the beginning of November. But it didn't happen like that. November 24th was the last day I would see my aunt. She passed away just a little more than 2 weeks later.

After the turmoil and grief and sadness of several days, and really weeks leading up to and following her death, I was feeling overwhelmed and sad and struggling to make it through each day without crying or wanting to just stay in bed. My extended family had been planning to go to Texas for a family reunion, but I just couldn't deal. The idea of planning a trip for that long, that far away, with so many schedules and moving parts was pushing me over the edge. I spoke to my mom about it and she was gracious enough to tell me that we didn't have to go if it was going to be too much for me. That gave me the strength I needed to jump in and make it happen. I had become incredibly aware of the limited time I might possibly have with my mom. And this is something she wanted above all things, so I knew I couldn't miss it.

After discussing airline ticket prices versus driving, I knew we had to drive. For 8 of us to fly to TX was going to cost easily around $3,500. So instead, we opted for the van.

December flew by. We celebrated Christmas at my mom's two weekends before Christmas and then we celebrated with David's family the weekend before Christmas.

We spent Christmas Eve going to church, at home packing, finishing up last minute wrapping and cooking, and reading the Christmas story while leaving cookies for Santa. Christmas day was spent at home with gifts and food and fun and laughter.

Then we woke up bright and early on the 26th and picked up the 15 passenger van that quickly became known as Hershey. It was actually really fun!! Nathan drove the entire way, though I tried to offer my help. We had an interesting stay in a motel, saw over 50 family members, all 10 of us (including my mom and JD) stayed with my aunt Sylvia and uncle Bob for several nights (they only have one shower!!), we got in each other's space, we learned to live with it, we got annoyed, we made up, we laughed, we cried and I wouldn't trade this trip for anything.
My mom took all of us (though my sister and I had been many times, our husbands and kids hadn't been before) to the farm where she grew up. We saw the house I remember my Granny and Papa living in and the land behind it where they tore down the original house my grandparents had lived in and where my mom lived for the first several years of her life - the house that had an outhouse and storm cellar and belonged to my mom's Granny. My aunts - Sylvia and Rae - were there to add to the stories my mom told. It was great fun to hear all of their memories and stories and thoughts about those days. We went by both of my uncles' houses and enjoyed driving downtown where my mom showed us her high school and where my grandfather worked and so many other landmarks, some that had stayed the same and some that had changed completely.
The family reunion was wonderful. I hadn't seen the majority of my family since my grandfather's death seven years previously. Xander had only been to TX twice, once when he was 6 months old and then again when Papa died in 2010. Amelia Jayne had never been, so none of my cousins had ever met her! It was so sweet to watch her play with my second cousin's little girl, Juliet. They had both brought their dolls, so they had things in common from the moment they walked in the door.

Everyone said I was crazy when I told them about this trip. I pretty much agreed and still agree, but I will always say it was worth it. Making memories is fun. Working through grief is necessary. I'll treasure these memories and our love for one another always. :)

Monday, January 1, 2018

Books I've Read - September-December 2017

The Sun is Also a Star
by Nicola Yoon
This was the YA book in our Community Read initiative at the library in October. It very interesting. Though it is a YA book the themes are serious and pretty intense - themes of immigration, deportation, young love and parental/family drama.
The questions to make you fall in love, referenced in the book, were fun. I printed out a copy for David and I to go through. If you watch The Big Bang Theory the questions might look familiar. Penny and Sheldon went through them together. Here's a clip you might enjoy. :)




Today Will Be Different
by Maria Semple
This was the adult book in our Community Read initiative at the library in October. I hate to say this because I work at the library and I'm part of this initiative, but I did not care for the book. To be honest with you I didn't make it all the way through. I just couldn't. I felt that the main character was whiny and self-absorbed. I couldn't deal with that.

The Five Love Languages
by Gary Chapman
I read this many years ago but decided to go back and get a refresher. I'm so glad I did. There was great insight on how to love not only my husband, but other members of my family and friend tribe, too. David and I have been married for 13 years and we've both changed a lot in those 13 years. I love that we're ever changing but that the basis of our love stays the same. Even though the love is always there I feel that I can always improve on my love for him. I tried some new things and gained new insights that have already proven helpful in our marriage.

The Five Love Languages of Children
by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
Though I had read The Five Love Languages before and even went back to reread them, I had never picked up this book before. It was very helpful. I've really been wanting some more parenting books and advice lately. I feel that there is so much information readily available about children ages 0-5, but after that it's not as prevalent. This was incredibly helpful for the ages my children are now. I'm on the lookout for more (good) parenting books for elementary aged kids, so if you have any recs, pass them on!

The Truth According to Us
by Annie Barrows
I technically started this back in the summer, but it has taken me forever to get through it. It's good, but it's not my go-to read when I'm bored. I had to make a concerted effort to finish this. I picked it up because it's by one of the authors of my beloved The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. Which, coincidentally, they're making into a movie due to come out this year.


Turtles All the Way Down
by John Green
Oh you know what a John Green fan I am. I just love the way he writes!! And this novel didn't disappoint. It went a different direction than I imagined, but once I was finished I realized I should have known John Green would focus more on the characters than the mystery or the plot line. I love the way he writes so much because of his character development and the reality he brings to these often bizarre people and their situations.

Love Lives Here
by Maria Goff
This was a recommendation made by a friend, but after reading Love Does by Bob Goff, I was very interested in reading this book by his wife. It had some very special insights that I will take with me.

The Light We Lost 
by Jill Santopolo
This was an adult fiction novel that I just blew through (which is rare for me as far as adult fic is concerned). It was so moving. I don't condone many of the main character's actions, but I couldn't help empathizing with her. It was touching and sad and funny and relatable.

Strong Mothers, Strong Sons
by Meg Meeker
My mom recommended this book after I repeatedly spoke to her about some challenges Xander and I were having. It's been a HUGE help. I'm technically finished, but I will be soon.

When Breath Becomes Air
by Paul Kalanithi
I began reading this book after a recommendation from a colleague of mine. I had told her about my mom's illness and she immediately thought of this book. It took me a couple of months to pick it up, but I couldn't bring myself to read it. Then, when I found out about my aunt Cheryl's lung cancer, I immediately grabbed a copy.
It's about a young neurosurgeon/neuroscientist who gets lung cancer. He wrote this book after his diagnosis, and his wife completed it and published it after his death. I'll admit that I read Part I back in November, but had to put it down for a bit and then picked it up again at the end of December. It was so beautifully written. What an amazing man - he was a scientist, but also had a love for words and literature. That must be so rare to have someone who is great at science but who also loves language and reading. I highly recommend this book - one of my faves for the year.

Amelia Jayne and I finished the How to Train Your Dragon series. There were 12 books in the series and I think it took us about 11 months to finish them all. This is probably one of my favorite children's book series ever. Maybe not quite as much as Harry Potter, but it's a close second. And the audiobooks just make these stories come to life in an even more amazing way. I know I've said it before, but David Tenant does a phenomenal production through voice acting. Fantastic. You must try it out!!
I've also read a ton of books with Amelia Jayne. She's really into Pinkalicious, Judy Moody, and Fancy Nancy just to name a few. We also read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever and started reading Wonder. That girl loves to read!! And her own reading ability is progressing quite nicely. I'm so proud of her!
Xander is really into anything that has to do with Captain Underpants, Dogman or Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I'm not in love with any of these books, but it keeps him reading. Over Christmas break, when we were in TX with his cousins, I overheard him raving about these books. When one of his cousins said he didn't like reading and that reading was dumb, Xander bravely stood up for what he likes and told him that he loved to read and that Carson just needed to find a book that he likes. I was so proud of him!!