Monday, April 15, 2013

On figuring out this thing called life...

Our lives have been hectic lately. That's the best word I can think of to describe it. Not bad, not great, just hectic. Thus the lack of blog posts lately.

David has two deadlines tomorrow. Not just one, which is usually the case when a deadline comes around, but two. Which means he's working even more than he would on a long day. He worked yesterday after church until 2:30am and then woke up at 7 to get to work and start all over again. It's 9:30pm and he's still at work. I've no idea when he'll get in tonight. It's a tough time right now.

I'm thankful for him. I'm thankful for all he does for our family. I'm thankful that he is dedicated and desires to do good work. I'm proud of him. I'm impressed with his willingness to finish his projects and not complain. He never complains. It has to be crazy bad for him to say anything.

On top of David's deadlines and crazy long hours, over the past couple of weeks we've had complete schedule changes. Two weeks ago was spring break, so my kids didn't have school. Which means we had to change up our childcare. And then last week both mine and David's parents were on a cruise. Since they're also a big portion of our childcare, we had to again change up our schedules to meet our needs.

At the time, when I was figuring out what we would do and how we could rearrange things to work it out, I didn't think anything of it. I just figured life would be basically the same, but with a few schedule changes. Boy, was I wrong. These past couple of weeks have taken a toll on me. I'm overly tired, I'm emotional, I'm scatterbrained and overloaded, and did I mention emotional?

This has been a good lesson for me. I've learned a lot over the past couple of weeks. A lot about myself and a lot about our kids...and a lot about my husband. He's really amazing. He loves this family. He would do anything for us and has.
My kids love me...but sometimes their way of showing me that is to act out or scream or cry or argue or ask questions over and over and over...
They're good kids. They're sweet kids. My husband reminded me of that last night. They feel safest with me so of course I see their bad sides more than anyone else!
I don't handle stress very well. That's what I've learned about myself. I'm trying to work on that. I'm trying to do my best and, in the process, I have to remind myself that my best really is good enough. Because God's grace is sufficient for me. It covers all my insufficiencies. It fills in the gaps and closes the holes that I so often leave.

That is the most important thing to me right now. My God is good and His grace covers all my sins. What would I do without Him? He reminds me of His love every time I look into my husband's eyes and gain the strength I need to get through the next event, every time I hear my son's voice telling me story after story or asking question after question, and every time I receive a sweet, slobbery kiss from my daughter.

Stress only lasts for a season, but my God's love endures forever.

1 comment:

THE JUDY JOURNEY said...

Oh my goodness we have had seasons like that too. It's so hard. You are right in that God's grace gets us through it. It may not be perfect times, just crazy, but He's in the crazy too. Thankfully, helping us get through each day. :)