Monday, July 6, 2015

Sweet summertime

I haven't posted much lately. Lots of different reasons surrounding that, but honestly it just hasn't been a priority.
This summer has been filled with ups and downs. And I'm not handling all of them very well.

Early in June David's check engine light came on in his car (which is 12 years old). He took it in to have it checked out and they told us that it would cost $4,000+ to have it fixed - and the car is only worth $3,000-$4,000. We just funneled a ton of money into that car last fall when my stepdad backed into it. And we just couldn't justify spending that much money on something that will most likely need more work in the coming year. So David got a new car. And though I feel like we got a good deal and it was the right choice, it takes a toll going through that experience and making those kinds of decisions. So David now drives a white 2013 VW Jetta TDI, manual drive. I hope it lasts us a long time. I despise buying cars.

The following week my check engine light came on. We took it in and it needed over $1500 worth of love and attention. More financial stress.

During that week we decided to take Amelia Jayne out of her current daycare. It was emotional and stressful for me for many reasons, but mostly because I have a hard time with change and I have a personal relationship with Mrs. Joy. We chose to take her out because it was expensive, I had found a place I liked closer to home that was more affordable, and because I would have to continue to pay  Mrs. Joy even when we were on vacation to hold AJ's spot - which would end up being almost $500 over the course of the summer.

We were at the beach with David's family for a week in June - David only got to stay for half the week, but it was a nice time. There are certainly stressors there that I don't have at home, but most of them are very manageable and even fun. Then on Wednesday night, David got to the house which had no AC working upstairs. Thankfully we have two systems, so the downstairs is still fine, but we still haven't gotten that worked out yet. They finally came today and fixed it - a fairly easy fix, thank goodness. Dealing with service providers and home warranty companies are also last on my list of things I want to do.

David's been crazy-busy at work with deadlines and multiple projects going at once. Because of that he's been somewhat distant at home. This is definitely something I'm not dealing with very well. After a meltdown or two from me, we've been able to work a few things out and I feel much better at home. His big deadline is this Friday, so I'm doing my best to give him as much grace as possible and take care of myself in the meantime.

Xander started summer camp after school was out, which he seems to love. It's at a local church near our home. It's been convenient for me and exciting for him. He's met lots of new kids and had opportunities to go on field trips, have in-house field trips, do arts & crafts, sing and dance, and over all enjoy life. This is the one thing I feel has gone exceptionally well this summer.

Amelia Jayne started summer camp with Xander. When I decided to put Amelia Jayne in her new school in the fall, there wasn't a lot of reason to keep her at Mrs. Joy's when I could put her in the same camp as Xander. They're not in the same class or anything, but they still get to see each other in the hall and at praise break. I enjoy hearing them talk about the different activities they're doing since they do participate in a lot of the same things. BUT with this change has also come some stress. Amelia Jayne doesn't do very well with change either. She's excited and interested until the actual time comes. She did great the week or so leading up to her starting camp and she was excited that very morning, but then her anxiety and emotions crept in. She's cried (only slightly which is good) most mornings when I drop her off and then she has cried each afternoon when I've picked her up. She doesn't want to leave me in the mornings and doesn't want to leave her friends in the afternoons. It is a constant struggle with that one. I love her dearly, but she wears me out! Kind of like Olivia. Oh how that one reminds me of Olivia. :)

And then there's me.
I don't really know what to say except my emotions have been wild lately. I've had a couple of days that I just had to cry and rest and take a break from life. One day I called into work and took the day off just to deal with my emotions and take care of me. I started seeing a counselor which has been a wonderful, calming and eye-opening experience. I've been more vulnerable with friends, which I think is helpful, too. Some days are just fine and others are almost unbearable. I'm doing my best to keep a positive attitude and enjoy what God has given me - to remember to look on the bright side of life. :)

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