Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Emotions and Hormones

Everyone keeps asking David how I'm doing with my emotions since becoming pregnant. His response is typically, "She's no more emotional than usual." If you know me, really at all, then you know that if strong emotions are a key indicator of pregnancy then I've been pregnant many, many times, mostly for my whole life. I'm just an emotional being. I really believe that God made me that way, but I also know I have to keep it tightly under control lest it get the best of me (and everyone around me). Of course I need God's help to do that. And I'm not always the best at asking for help...

So I've had a couple of strange outbursts. And I admit, I know when they're irrational and completely out of the blue. Like when I told David I would need my mom around after the birth because she would know how to care for me. (I had just read all of the oh-so-unpleasant things that you have to heal from after birth.) And in the process of this normal request and conversation I just burst into tears. Or when I started crying about my new cell phone because I just knew I wasn't going to have enough minutes to talk (even though I have more than I ever had on the other phone!).

First, you have to understand that it is not unlike me to have strange outbursts. I guess in these instances I've just realized they're strange. :)

But last night was the worst yet. And it's lasted into today. I realize I'm being irrational, but I can't seem to take control over my emotions. I've just felt weepy and sad ever since I woke up. And I cried until I fell asleep last night, too. I woke up in the middle of the night because I was thirsty. I honestly believe I had depleted my fluids because of so much crying! So, pray for me, folks. I really need it today.

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