Struggling

This mama is tired today. The kids have been good overall. It's not that. I'm a little bit discouraged and feeling pretty defeated today. Being a mom is hard work. I certainly knew that going in, but I didn't know just how hard it would be. It's so hard to do the right thing sometimes. Or to be the responsible parent that I must be to help raise my children to be responsible, capable, polite, kind and civilized human beings.

Do you know the song "Counting Stars" by OneRepublic? There's a line that has been resonating with me lately:

I feel something so wrong doing the right the thing.

There was a time in my life that I couldn't have understood what that means at all. I'm a rule-follower, so to think of feeling wrong doing the right thing? Never!

And then I became a mother.

Sometimes it does feel wrong. When I have to discipline my kids or give them consequences for their actions. (I'll admit that sometimes it doesn't feel wrong at all, like when they've blatantly disobeyed or are totally getting on my nerves). But those times that I warn them of the consequences and they still choose to disobey anyway? Oh, man. I just want to grab their little faces, look into their sweet eyes, and tell them, "Make the right choice. You'll be so much happier and I just want the best for you. I don't want to see you hurting or sad. Please, just listen to me! I love you!!"

God, help me to love those sweet babies with an unconditional love and to remember You when I have to make tough decisions and follow through on my word. I will press on.

Let me remember Your words, too.

Proverbs 22:6
Start children off on the way they should go,
    and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

^{Deuteronomy 6:5-9
5} Love theLord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸ Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.